Less Optimistic? The Just World Phenomenon

Anyone have any suggestions for being...well more cynical?
Does it just take time? After a certain number of years, do you just see people differently?
The reason I first wanted to be a nurse was to care about people and make a difference in their lives. That hasn't changed.
But, I don't seem to have the expected attitude. In Social Psychology, most us hold a
belief called the just-world phenomenon.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belief_in_a_Just_World (I'm not sure I got hyperlinks to work but I tried!
Basically that people get what they deserve.
Unfortunately, I don't believe that. I've seen too many people who are kind and caring die, or have lives so full of pain and misery that they did nothing to cause. And seen people who don't care about anyone or themselves live to a healthy old age and peacefully die in their sleep.
So how does that affect me as a nurse? I wouldn't say in a negative way. If someone needs to hear something, like that they REALLY need to stop drinking or their liver is just going to totally shut down, and they won't be eligible for a transplant, I don't shy away from telling them. But I never do it in a "tough love" kind of way. I guess, with every person (when there is time - I do get crabby when there are 20 things to do and not enough of me to do them all, and of course sometimes am judgemental...) I TRY to think "how would I want to be treated if I was in their situation". Since I am like this not only at work, family and friends have been trying to change my attitude: for example telling me "but you would never do that" or "he deserves worse after what he did". It hasn't worked. I just think "Sure, I would never do that, but look at all the resources and knowledgee I have. What if I DIDN'T have people who cared? What if I didn't know about....?"
And then it seems like people can't understand why I don't shy away from the hard things. Why I offer to take the twins with CF who are dying. Why I try to help the homeless drunk woman find some shelter, and support. I don't think either of them are getting what they deserve, I think both deserve my very best. Of course, that's humanly impossible, so I just do what I can...
but I just can't seem to join in the talk both about types of patients being annoying (yes, I do say that things they do are annoying, like why would an RN be needed to turn the lights on and off every 5 minutes when there is a perfectly healthy family member sitting right there) but I still care about the person, and wouldn't call them an annoying person. Just "I wish people had some perspective about all the other things I have to do, it was getting annoying".
So, what do you think? How long will it take for me to join the ranks of those who see tragedy only in those suffering not of their own cause, and who are kind and enjoyable to be around. And to see annoyance, dislike of the person, who has made bad choices.